I don’t get it, why?! Why me, why him, why now?! These are some questions running thru my mind lately, why? Why didn’t that work out the way I expected it too. Why am I the Mom who has the kid freaking out in WalMart? Why does Cole seem to have so many minor issues. Why am I not having anymore kids?!
Today as I sat waiting to go into Cole’s speech appointment I wondered, God why is this happening? And to be honest, with an awful attitude. Cole was a major promise from You, so why is it from birth it has been one thing after another with him. It started right from birth, he would eat then throw up every where and has gone from needing glasses to speech therapy, and the list goes on.
After you get married the questions begin when are you having kids? Then after you have 1 it begins again, when are you having more. After 2 it becomes, are you having more? As I wrote about in another post about the journey to coming to the decision of no more, I then reflected and wondered, why am I not having more?
I resolved in my spirit that I may not know why, but, what I do know is God’s ways are better then mine. God choose ME to be his mama and at times it makes me want to cry and run the other way then in his oh so sweet voice says “Cuddle Mama” I know he has my heart. When I see women at the late stages of pregnancy I thank God that won’t be me again. Newborns used to make me yearn to have another one, not anymore!
What lesson is there in all of this? Well – God knows! Simple as that. I’m sure other parents feel frustrated, women wonder what IF, so I choose to be a voice of encouragement and not a grumbler of life. The therapist is doing her job, praise her. Encourage a mom who’s child is not acting well. Complement a women in late stage of pregnancy. No matter the situation or how I feel I have to trust God will get us thru this minor speed bump and anything else along the way. At the end of the day He really is a great kid, with a great calling on his life. Life is all in how we look at it. Try God’s Perspective, it’s WAY better then our own!
Cole and I enjoying breakfast on the porch one morning.
Exploring life 