Hello, again.

Well it’s been a while since I last blogged. I didn’t want to write for the sake of writing nor did I even know what to write about.

So if you’re new here to my little part of the world, welcome!! I’m happy you’re here. Many things have changed since my last time, the biggest being my geographic location. My family and I including my mom moved from Ontario to New Brunswick. For those who don’t know their Canadian geography that’s 2 provinces over. 16 hours away from where we came from. We knew no one but felt called here. Don’t worry there will be more talks about that later.

For now I just wanted to reintroduce myself, let you know I’m here and can’t wait to share more with you.

Until next time,

Jen

What I have learned from the man in the woods part 2

Well thanks for coming back, I have been so absent from the blog not because I don’t enjoy blogging but simply cause I didn’t put it as a priority in my life. SO that is going to change! Well here is part 2 of what I learned from my weekend in the woods with my Dad. If you missed part 1 here is the link https://wordpress.com/post/sarookj.wordpress.com/11981

 

My time with my Dad was something that I will look forward to again this year. What I learned was that, yes I can unplug and just enjoy the surroundings that are around me. It was amazing listening to my Dad talk about when He was growing up and listening to Him talk about his life at this cottage He calls home. It was awesome to listen to Him tell me to just relax, sleep in as long as possible, Ok! It was nice to wake up and my Dad had already made coffee and was outside cleaning up and had already feed the deer. It was cool and rainy while I was there, we still took walks and the rain didn’t bother us. We wandered around and he showed me some of his friends places and the Beaver dam that I had heard Him talk about for a while. It was nice to put an actual view to what I have heard Him speak about for a few years. It was nice to just watch Him enjoy telling me things and showing me around. It was nice to watch Him in His element and the pride He has in His tiny place in the woods. I really enjoyed waking up and walking around, hearing the birds and watching the deer that came to his place a couple times a day. It was peaceful taking my coffee to the covered bridge and watching the ever so slow stream go by. It was nice to just be and watch and absorb and exhale.

I went there at at time when things where out of sorts, upside down and when I found myself crying most of the drive up asking God “why am I in this season?!” I felt very alone, unsure of where relationships where heading and where I felt like my life was imploding back home. I felt like these few short days away, where there was no form of communication other then with my Dad who I felt I hardly knew, to a place I had only heard of was exactly what I needed. God knew I needed it. I had heard of time where people would say I just need to get away and clear my head, I would think, why?! I got it. I got away and cleared my head. I came back more connected with my Dad, and with a clearer view of life back home. What did I learn when I was away?

I learned that its not about “stuff” my Dad lives a very simple life, in a very simple place but I believe He is the happiest I have seen him in years. I learned its important to carve out time for yourself doing what you love. My Dad loves being out in the woods, with his deers and putting around the cottage, I enjoyed taking time to colour in my adult colouring books, I need to do that more. I learned that its not only ok to unplug but you won’t die doing it. You really don’t miss much by unplugging. There would be NO way I could catch up on my Facebook timeline for the 4 days I was away. Guess what? No one said did you see…blah blah blah, I really didn’t miss much. If it was that important then a few people knew how to get a hold of me if need be. I also learned that I do have stuff in common with my Dad and when given the time I can learn from Him. I also learned that God is full of surprises. I learned that my Dad reads his Bible daily  and that he feels a peace and calmness that comes upon Him when he does. I learned to take time out for those that have gone before you because one day they won’t be there and you won’t get the chance to ask them. I also learned, don’t be scared to ask. What is the worst they say, “I don’t want to talk about it!” So you move on, and continue the conversation. Who do you need to let into your life that may of caused pain to you in the past? Of course this comes with boundaries and wisdom as to who that person may be. Life is short and we need to let God move so we need to get out of the way and stop trying to avoid those God given chances to connect with others.

 

Until next time,

Jen

 

 

 

 

 

 

A weekend in the woods with a man I hardly know.

It sounds weird doesn’t it, the choice to spend a weekend in the woods with a man I hardly knew?! Well it’s true I did. It was back in October. I made the drive alone, 5.5 hours away from home, to a place I knew only a little bit about growing up to meet up with Him. The plan was to stay in the city, but I knew how much He loved his little place in the woods. After only a couple of days in the city, I insisted we go to the cottage in the woods. He reminded me that it’s 4.4 km in the woods with no cell reception, no one really around at the base of a mountain. I said I’m excited to see it! Inside I was actually a bit scared to be honest. NO contact with the outside world?! Just him and I in this cottage…While fear ran through my mind, I have never been alone with this man for at least 30 years, what will we talk about? What if there is awkward silence? What if I just hate it and want to go home? Did I mention, what will we talk about?!

Let me give you some history, so that you can understand why I was so nervous to spend time alone with this man in the woods, who is my Dad. My Mom and Dad meet when they were very young, and then when they were not that much older, decided to get married. My mom was 18 and my dad 20 at the time. A year later I was born, and at the time my mom was 19 and 5 days later turned 20. Needless to say, I am to this day, the best birthday gift she has ever received.. Shortly after I was born, things began to change for them. Just like his parents, my Dad got into drinking, and would become violent and miserable. He would go on hunting trips and return whenever He wanted.  They tried to make things work again once my sister came along but by then, my Dad was in deep into drinking and drugs. We moved many times cause of the type of people my dad was in “business” with. From a young age I remember watching my Dad deal drugs, get violent, make and break plans and then one day, he just disappeared. The lifestyle of moving around a lot continued for many years and even included a whole city change when I was 10 years old.

One day I was visiting my Grandmother and She had some company that was over, some family from the Ottawa area. I really feel like this was a moment I will never forget, it was a cool summer day and my 2nd cousin and I were sitting outside on my Grandmothers large swing with the woven plastic cushions. My Cousin said to me “we went to Uncle Mark’s for dinner. Whitney is SO nice and a great cook and the baby is super cute” well uncle Mark was my Dad. I don’t remember acting shocked but I said, Mark as in my Dad?! Keep in mind, He feel off the face of the earth, 6 years ago. My own Grandmother swore up and down to my Mom that She had no idea where Her son, my Dad was. I remember being so hurt, shocked, and yet excited.  As soon as my Mom picked us up She knew something wasn’t right. I told Her what I was told and well, my Grandma got a call and not long after that my Dad called my Mom. It was true He was living in the Ottawa area with Whitney and they had a little Baby. By now I am in grade 8, because life at that age isn’t confusing enough! He ended up coming back to Hamilton for a visit and brought Whitney and the Baby for my Sister and I to meet. After that meeting in the winter, my Mom and Her husband at the time took us to their place and let us stay for a week. My Mom and Her husband stayed in the area for a few days before heading back home to make sure we were ok and comfortable. My sister and I ended up making the journey to our Dad’s for years to come in the winter and summer, but I had never been alone with him. I do have some memories of time with my Dad, doing puzzles, cooking him fake food, and playing in parks but there was always someone else there. My Sister then once I got married, my husband and kids, when we would e visiting him. This was a big step for me, but I knew God had my back.

Part 2 will talk about what it was like being alone with my Dad, and what I learned from him while I was there.

The first picture was after a walk we took in the city, and my Dad explaining to me about the mushrooms that where growing in the park. The 2nd one is of the deer at the cottage that come 2 times a day for apples, Mama and Jr.

 

Until next time,

 

Jen