Parenting

Well I felt like I was a great parent once I had my first child. She is well mannered, behaves in stores, doesn’t talk back a lot. I felt like I was such an amazing Mom. To be honest, sometimes I would look at Moms whose kids where throwing fits in the store and think “Wow…..(insert judgments)”. That’s right I judged people! I’m not proud of it, I’m also not to proud to say that I did.

Then our little hurricane of a boy was born. He came into the world quickly and hasn’t stopped since! He is a hoot, full of life and fire. My prayer over him often is  “Lord help us to help Him use the fire inside of him for your Kingdom Lord.” Without God, some books and friends whose advice I can respect raising Him would be more stressful then it is. He would totally run the house if it wasn’t for God’s perspective of parenting. That doesn’t mean there aren’t days I feel like running the other way, throw my hands in the air and say “I give up!” While screaming, crying and yelling all at once.

I am now that Mom at times with the kid in the store who is having a full out screaming meltdown. God has a sense of humor! I am now that Mom being judged. The Bible is very clear about not judging others (Matt 7:1-5 for example). I feel like saying to those people who look at me and say “My other kid is well behaved and doesn’t act like this, its not me!!!” There are times I just walk around and smile while giving him a stern talk to, other times I want to run and hide and yes sometimes I have gotten in my car, defeated and cried.

Life sometimes throws us a curve. I feel He is my curve. I have compassion for Moms who’s kids are melting down in the store while my sweet hurricane isn’t with me. I have a new level of patience. I know how to control my emotions in a heated situation. See, its all about learning and choosing. Learning to control my emotions and choosing to not freak out when all I want to do is yell back and cry and scream along with Him. Instead I speak softly, pray and leave it in Gods hands. I can direct, teach and assist him but God guides Him.

 

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I am so thankful God has trusted my husband and I to be the ones to guide this little guy into the mighty destiny God has for him!

Why we DONT celebrate Halloween

It wasn’t until we became Christians that we begin to think, what does Halloween really mean?! Since that revelation we have chosen to not have our kids dress up and go trick or treating. Here is some history on Halloween from CBN.com

In ancient Britain and Ireland, the Celtic Festival of Samhain was observed on October 31, at the end of summer…. The souls of the dead were supposed to revisit their homes on this day and the autumnal festival acquired sinister significance, with ghosts, witches, goblins, black cats, fairies and demons of all kinds said to be roaming about. It was the time to placate the supernatural powers controlling the processes of nature. In addition, Halloween was thought to be the most favorable time for divinations concerning marriage, luck, health, and death. It was the only day on which the help of the devil was invoked for such purposes.

Where did the jack-o’-lantern originate?

The carved pumpkin may have originated with the witches’ use of a collection of skulls with a candle in each to light the way to coven meetings. But among the Irish, who, as noted, prompted the popularization of Halloween in America, the legend of “Irish Jack” explains the jack-o’-lantern. According to the legend, a stingy drunk named Jack tricked the devil into climbing an apple tree for an apple, but then cut the sign of a cross into the trunk of the tree to prevent the devil from coming down. Jack then forced the devil to swear he would never come after Jack’s soul. The devil reluctantly agreed.

Jack eventually died, but he was turned away at the gates of heaven because of his drunkenness and life of selfishness. He was sent to the devil, who also rejected him, keeping his promise. Since Jack had no place to go, he was condemned to wander the earth. As he was leaving hell (he happened to be eating a turnip), the devil threw a live coal at him. He put the coal inside the turnip and has since forever been roaming the earth with his “jack-o’-lantern” in search of a place to rest. Eventually, pumpkins replaced turnips since it was much easier to symbolize the devil’s coal inside a pumpkin.

How did the tradition of trick-or-treating begin?

There are several ancient practices that point to this tradition. One possibility is from the notion that ancient witches had to steal the materials needed for their festivals. The Druids may have believed that witches held this day to be special, something clearly true for modern witches.

The idea of trick-or-treating is further related to the ghosts of the dead in pagan, and even Catholic, history. For example, among the ancient Druids, “The ghosts that were thought to throng about the houses of the living were greeted with a banquet-laden table. At the end of the feast, masked and costumed villagers representing the souls of the dead paraded to the outskirts of town leading the ghosts away.”

As already noted, Halloween was thought to be a night when mischievous and evil spirits roamed freely. As in modern poltergeist lore, mischievous spirits could play tricks on the living—so it was advantageous to “hide” from them by wearing costumes. Masks and costumes were worn to either scare away the ghosts or to keep from being recognized by them:

In Ireland especially, people thought that ghosts and spirits roamed after dark on Halloween. They lit candles or lanterns to keep the spirits away, and if they had to go outside, they wore costumes and masks to frighten the spirits or to keep from being recognized by these unearthly beings.

Where did Halloween costumes originate?

Halloween masks and costumes were used to hide one’s attendance at pagan festivals or—as in traditional shamanism (mediated by a witch doctor or pagan priest) and other forms of animism—to change the personality of the wearer to allow for communication with the spirit world. Here, costumes could be worn to ward off evil spirits. On the other hand, the costume wearer might use a mask to try to attract and absorb the power of the animal represented by the mask and costume worn. According to this scenario, Halloween costumes may have originated with the Celtic Druid ceremonial participants, who wore animal heads and skins to acquire the strength of a particular animal.

An additional layer of tradition explaining the origin of Halloween costumes comes from the medieval Catholic practice of displaying the relics of saints on All Saints’ Day: “The poorer churches could not afford relics and so instituted a procession with parishioners dressed as the patron saints; the extras dressed as angels or devils and everyone paraded around the churchyard.”

Going from door to door seeking treats may result from the Druidic practice of begging material for the great bonfires. As we will see later, it is also related to the Catholic concept of purgatory and the custom of begging for a “soul cake.”

As for the “trick” custom of Halloween, this is related to the idea that ghosts and witches created mischief on this particular night. For example, if the living did not provide food, or “treats,” for the spirits, then the spirits would “trick” the living. People feared terrible things might happen to them if they did not honor the spirits. The Druids also believed that failure to worship their gods would bring dire consequences. If the gods were not treated properly in ritual, they would seek vengeance. This was therefore a day of fear. Further, some people soon realized that a mischievous sense of humor, or even malevolence, could be camouflaged—that they could perform practical jokes on or do harm to others and blame it on the ghosts or witches roaming about.

Some feel “its just a fun night”  but for our household we choose to not participate cause of the real meaning behind it. This goes for many areas in our life, such as the movies we choose to watch or tv shows. Our kids in NO way miss out on the sugar high but just like Santa, the tooth fairy and Easter bunny they know Mom and Dad/Nana’s and Papa’s bought this and they are not missing out :).

History was taken from http://www.CBN.com if you wish to learn more.

I don’t get it

I don’t get it, why?! Why me, why him, why now?! These are some questions running thru my mind lately, why? Why didn’t that work out the way I expected it too. Why am I the Mom who has the kid freaking out in WalMart? Why does Cole seem to have so many minor issues. Why am I not having anymore kids?!

Today as I sat waiting to go into Cole’s speech appointment I wondered, God why is this happening? And to be honest, with an awful attitude. Cole was a major promise from You, so why is it from birth it has been one thing after another with him. It started right from birth, he would eat then throw up every where and has gone from needing glasses to speech therapy, and the list goes on.

After you get married the questions begin when are you having kids? Then after you have 1 it begins again, when are you having more. After 2 it becomes, are you having more? As I wrote about in another post about the journey to coming to the decision of no more, I then reflected and wondered, why am I not having more?

I resolved in my spirit that I may not know why, but, what I do know is God’s ways are better then mine. God choose ME to be his mama and at times it makes me want to cry and run the other way then in his oh so sweet voice says “Cuddle Mama” I know he has my heart. When I see women at the late stages of pregnancy I thank God that won’t be me again. Newborns used to make me yearn to have another one, not anymore! 

What lesson is there in all of this? Well – God knows! Simple as that. I’m sure other parents feel frustrated, women wonder what IF, so I choose to be a voice of encouragement and not a grumbler of life. The therapist is doing her job, praise her. Encourage a mom who’s child is not acting well.  Complement a women in late stage of pregnancy. No matter the situation or how I feel I have to trust God will get us thru this minor speed bump and anything else along the way. At the end of the day He really is a great kid, with a great calling on his life. Life is all in how we look at it. Try God’s Perspective, it’s WAY better then our own! 

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Cole and I enjoying breakfast on the porch one morning.

The power of a spoken lie

A couple of years ago while my little guy was still pretty young I had someone say to me, “What are you going to do if Cole is gay?” WHAT! Where did THAT come from?! I remember it turned into a heated discussion and an attack on what I believe to be true.

Now before some people want to attack me hear me out. Growing up I always said I wanted a gay best friend. It wasn’t until my mid 20s when I gave my life to Jesus did my option change. This is not about what I believe regarding this topic but to demonstrate I’m not a Christian “gay hater” but more of a love the sinner (ALL people are sinners) but don’t like the sin (just like murder, or stealing or telling lies). So because of my belief in Leviticus 18:22 “Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable”, this is something I do believe in and that question got my blood boiling. I believe our words have power and something spoken like this could cause a lot of damage. I went home and called my best friend crying! I was devastated and couldn’t understand why someone would say that! I prayed over Cole and moved on, until it happened AGAIN! I handled myself better but still left in tears. The 3rd time I was just down right ticked!

I had resolved to pray over Cole ever night that he will have a loving wife, kids who honour him as their father and that he will be a mighty man in God’s kingdom. In my opinion there was no other way to fight this than prayer, but, the seed had been planted deep inside me, what if?! NO….Push that thought out!! Then I would see Cole play with his sisters dolls and I would calmly take it out of his hand and give him a truck.

Purple is a colour he often notices but I would then point out all the “masculine” colours. A lie has been birthed inside me and I wasn’t fully aware of it until a powerful weekend away.

Every year my small group (or, Bible study) and I go away for a weekend retreat. We focus on God, building relationships with each other and having FUN!!!! I had made up cardboard boxes that said on top different things, and one was “lies I’m believing”. Later that night we were burning the boxes and the lies! I knew I had this deep lie I was believing about my son and I needed it gone. As I wrote it out on the card, and later that night watched it burn I felt a release, a freedom from this lie!!!! I now know not to doubt in darkness what was spoken in light. Don’t let other people’s lies about you, your family etc, to take root because often its a way to take you off becauserse God has planed for you.

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The ‘Child – Centred’ Family

kaitlynregts's avatar

It’s my pleasure to have  one of my Pastors guest post on Homemakers Heart today!!
Joanne Leach, wife of Pastor Bob Leach, is an incredible example and inspiration to so many around her. Her wisdom and knowledge in matters of faith and parenting astound me. She blogs over at FLAVOURS http://joanneleachtv.wordpress.com/
– I hope you enjoy this little ‘tidbit’ of wisdom today.
Joanne
Bob and I were recently watching ‘Property Brothers’ (awesome show, if you haven’t seen it!) where two brothers, (one a real estate agent and the other a contractor) help people buy and renovate homes.  In this case, the couple had three out of control children.  We then looked at each other jokingly and said ‘child-centred family’.
Some parents let children change the whole direction and focus of their lives.  I’ve met people who ‘can’t’ go to an event because Johnny MUST have a nap at that time, or who…

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Friends, they are like jewelry

I’m sure that title got your attention! Hear me out, jewelery is used to enhance your outfit, to complement it, and when you got it right it can make an outfit complete! Friendship is the same, it is something meant to enhance your life, to complement it, and when the right friendships come along it can change your life.

Jesus is a good example of a great friend! He enhanced the life of his friends “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15) 

He spoke truth into their lives” But when Peter saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:30-31)

Jesus taught his friends how to be more like him “As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen.  “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once they left their nets and followed him. (Matthew 4:18-20). Now this is not a literal “fishing for bodies” but looking for people who needed Jesus.

For so long I didn’t think I needed Jesus, or friends. Sure, I had people around me all the time that I called “friends” but it wasn’t until I found myself needing Jesus that I found a real friend, Him! He doesn’t judge me, doesn’t put me down and doesn’t want me to stay the same.

Often as women, its hard for us to be completely real with our friends for fear of judgment, and we almost in our own mind compete against our friends. We are not called to be competitors but to be complementary to each other. I have some wonderful friends. Some call me out on things that are not great character traits, some I can act silly with, some are life long friends and some are here for a season but, all have a reason. I am so thankful for all of these relationships because they all complete the “outfit of my life”. My identity is found in Jesus but my life is enhanced with my friends. Embrace your friendships, don’t take them for granted and always look for an opportunity to lift them up while not tearing yourself down!
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