Dear Moms,
Love yourself like your kids love You. Unconditionally. Without reserve, without hesitation for how your hair looks, if You have last nights make up on or if You are still in your pjs because today is hard. Love yourself from all angles too, not just the Instagram perfect angle with the filter but the naked in front of the mirror natural truth of how You look. It’s important to accept ourselves for how we look now, accept that there are somethings we just can’t change, our height, bone structure etc, but there are some things we can change. I believe a large part that needs to change is our attitude towards ourselves. I have a daughter who I want to grow up with a positive self esteem and that starts with me. What does she see when I’m getting ready, a mom who is critical of her body or a mom who is being complementary towards herself?
It may not be in actual words that she hears me but my actions. Do I often look like I don’t care how I look? Do I take time to do my hair, even if all I can do is wash it and brush it. Does she see me put on my make up not to hide flaws but to highlight the beauty that God created me to be? I have to be honest, body image issues has never really been “my thing”, weird I know! I grew up with a Mom who was confident in who she was. I grew up to know my beauty wasn’t found in how I look, but how I treat others. This doesn’t mean that if You grew with the same type of atmosphere that you too wont have issues but for me, that’s how it was. I also grew up with a physical deformity, You can call it, where in my early 20s I had to have reconstructive surgery to fix the abnormality. So I’m sure that helped me to get over my body image issues.
Now, like I said body image issues havn’t been a big deal in my life until recently. Why Now God?! I thought that as I got older I would become even more confident not go backwards. So much so, that I was getting ready for Church the other day, I texted a good friend. It wrote something like, I have my 1st shift in a new ministry and I cant stand how my clothes look on me! She was so kind to say You’re stunning and I am sure You look amazing! If only that made all my yucky feels about myself go away.
I left the house feeling like I wanted to hide, that everything was way too tight and I looked awful. How can they be OK with me looking this way, to be a greeter as people come into Church, I mean have they seen how I look?! I choose to walk in the confidence of who God says I am, instead of how I was feeling. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, even though I wasn’t “feeling” like that. I just love how God brings people along in Your life to let You know He hears You. As I was getting ready and beating myself up mentally I thought…”Sarah” hasn’t said a thing to me lately about how I look but when I was loosing weight (I put on 10 lbs of the 30 I lost) it was weekly and now I haven’t heard a thing in months. Well doesn’t “Sarah” pass me, say Hi, and goes on her way. Only to circle back a few minutes later, hugs me as if she knew what I was thinking and says You look fantastic tonight! I wanted to cry!!! Not cause she made me feel amazing but because God cares even about my bad moment of body image issues. He loves to go above and beyond cause I had 3 other people complement me that night. That night highlighted a few things to me. (1) I depend on people’s complements to determine how I feel about myself more then I thought. (2) Clearly I have some self love that I need to work on. (3) Contentment needs to be found in the process, cause that’s what I am in, a process. A process of learning and unlearning things. A process of going from not caring to caring and a process of accepting my mistakes and loving myself like my kids do. My husband DAILY, many times a day, tells me how beautiful I am. I should be walking around with a big head lol. It shows that it goes deeper then just hearing it, You have to believe it about yourself first.
As moms we have enough coming at us where we can feel like we are not good enough, that our kids don’t behave well enough, that I’m not Martha Steward, or Jamie Oliver blah blah blah. We need to take a point of view from our kids who say Mama your beautiful, even from the angle of a 6 year old, not the Instagram “perfect” filter, angle, lighting, hair and make up world that we can get caught up in. So Mom’s today, love yourself a bit more like your kids do, and change how You talk to yourself cause You are fearfully and wonderfully made!
The view my 6 year old sees. My 10 year old’s view and well, make up and filters and just the right light and angle.
Until next time,
Jen
Exploring life 